Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
