My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
