once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Of course I have a pirate flag
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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