Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
