HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
