so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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