is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
