the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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