idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just threw up on my dentist
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I need moral support for this bender
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
