She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
