He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
