You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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