Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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