I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
