I love black thongs
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
