we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
