Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I want to walk on stilts...naked
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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