Just fell off a train. Bad.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
