they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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