i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
