I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
