Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
