Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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