To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
