if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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