Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
