your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
