We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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