I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
