dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
