He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
