nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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