Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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