I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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