the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
