Reggie can tackle my bush.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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