how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
