Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
