This dress was meant to end up on your floor
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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