We named our party play list daddy issues
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
