Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
