One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
