i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
