I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
How's work?
Spinning.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
