If i come over, it means nothing
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
