you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
