I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
