So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
