i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
