Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
