Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
