His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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